And The Norse God
by PeachyLana
Summary: Max is closing the cupcake window alone. What could go wrong? A 2 Broke Girls and Thor smutty mash-up. Yes, I know I'm crazy. Loki/Max


Quick AN: So yeah, this is 2 Broke Girls and Thor insanity. Loki/Max smut is all this is basically. Not a romance or anything like that. I'm basing my Loki on The Dark World here (not as evil, but I wouldn't consider him good or nice). Thanks to Tom Hiddleston and Kat Dennings for being partly responsible for this.

**And the Norse God**

Max grunted when Caroline squeezed her arm in a surprisingly painful hold. "You can do this for me, right?"

"Yeah, I already said it was cool. You can stop with the death-grip." The brunette shook off her friend.

"I…" The blonde agonized over the text message she received hours ago, chewing her lip in uncertainty. "It's just two nights."

"Take a week!" Max smiled and pushed through the doors to their little walk up window cupcake shop. "Do you have any idea how much I miss walking around the apartment naked?"

"What are you talking about? You do that all the time!" Caroline followed, straightening out her black t-shirt and smirking at Max from behind who was still in the yellow and red diner uniform. "Forgot your own business' uniform again?"

Max shot her a glare. "You were supposed to remind me."

Caroline looked down at the large bowl of cupcake batter. "If you can't handle getting dressed without me then how can I think you can manage here alone?"

Max pointed her spatula in Caroline's face. "If I managed age three to now alone, I can set a timer on the oven and make small talk with random strangers through a window."

Caroline picked up her purse and knowingly smiled at Max. "You need to learn the difference between small talk and verbal assault."

"Meh!" Max waved her hand indifferently. "Then I can't plead 'not guilty'. Not knowing is much better for me." She stopped from opening the window, catching her reflection and frowned at diner attire. "I'd ask Han if he had a change of clothes I could borrow, but I'm not the size of a prepubescent 10 year old."

Max wasn't in the mood to really fuck around with customers either, it wasn't as fun without someone to witness her wit. "Dear Lord, am I that pathetic?" Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Caroline embedded herself deep into Max's life and she actually liked it. A decent looking guy came up to the window with thick rimmed glasses, facial hair, and an ironic t-shirt; Max kept her thoughts internal. Or at least until he provoked her.

"3.99 for a cupcake? That's ridiculous." He ran a hand through his messy dark brown hair.

"So is your shirt," Max countered as she judged his choice of clothing.

The guy walked off in a huff and she shook her head watching him. "Damn hipsters. Aren't cupcakes too 'in' right now anyway?"

Nearing two in the morning, Max locked the window and cleaned up ready to leave. As she reached for the light switch a loud bang from outside the window made her jump and squeak aloud. She sighed, still with a hand over her heart. Thank god, no one witnessed that.

The diner was already closed and she assumed it was just some moron passing by. She shrugged it off until the loud noise happened again, rattling the sill and glass. Now she was pissed. "Is someone throwing rocks at the damn window?!" Max flung it open. "Hey hobos, we had a deal! You keep a 10 foot distance and I'll flash you once a day."

What was in front of her was certainly the best dressed hobo she'd ever seen. Strung out rock stars stumbled by the window after a show before, so when Max eyed the leather she prepared for another OD on the sidewalk. She craned her neck upwards to the person's face to deliver a cutting insult about his choice of accoutrement until Max observed the entire ensemble. Even with poor lighting outside she recognized that outfit. It was burned into her retinas when aliens attacked New York, and now it was eye level with her face, because this guy was fucking tall.

But there was no way this was **him**. Max started laughing at the ludicrous idea, but something in her gut thought differently.

"Whoa, LARPing got elaborate," she leaned her head out the window, glanced both directions down the sidewalk, and snapped her gum. "Can I watch? I'd love to see a dozen virgins pretend to kill each other with spells and swords."

He didn't respond verbally. Just smiled, a freakish one that in a normal person would activate a fight or flight response, but Max held steady. Her intrigue won out over survival. She oddly liked the increasingly bad feeling that crept through veins each passing second. Maybe throw a cupcake at him while shouting "lightning bolt" and see what happened.

"I was expecting your little blonde friend," he spoke, but his casual cadence and posture juxtaposed oddly with his costume.

The voice confirmed her suspicion. Max bowed forward on the sill to get a good look of his face. His shoulder length dark hair looked different than she remembered from the New York attack, and his features weren't as harsh as she thought they'd be.

Max straightened; undecided how to proceed. "She's not here. And believe me, you're not her type."

"You'd be surprised," he answered confidently. "And I said I expected her, I didn't come here _**for**__**her**_."

It took a few seconds for her brain to process that. Max looked over her shoulder as if someone stood behind her. "Well, you sure as hell didn't come here for me!" She displayed her true feelings for a moment. Confusion and slight disgust marred her face until she pushed them away. "There's no way Caroline could pull off a joke this detailed." Max stated aloud and waited for him to confirm the statement.

He leaned down slightly, now they saw other a bit better. His smooth animal-like grace almost weirded her out as he relaxed leaning on the side of the window. "I'm not familiar with your friend's capabilities, but I certainly did not come all the way here for nothing."

Max instantly wanted more of the rush that coursed through her veins. It went beyond anything she experienced before and that included stimulates of all varieties of legality. She smiled, getting pleasure out of her heart thudding heart.

"Easy there Ren-fair reject," The adrenaline high didn't allow her to tone it down. "I'm not selling sex…anymore," Max eyed him sideways. "Well maybe, how much are we talking about here?"

He chuckled. "I'm not buying." His soothing voice had a chill inducing resonance behind it. "But your occupation is somewhat ambiguous considering your state of dress."

She preferred that he stop grinning; it came off slightly psychotic. But at least his expression didn't warn of keeping her body parts inside a refrigerator. Max looked down at her cleavage and smirked, raising her eyes to his.

"Hey, I didn't design this perverted piece of fashion disaster. I just work here." Max's lips mirrored the expression on his face. Now they both looked insane. "Don't talk shit about my clothes when you look like you just walked out of a BDSM club."

He glanced down at his own apparel then back to her with a smirk. "And I look exceptional in it."

Max wrinkled her nose. "Wow, was I just curb stomped with ego? That's a first." She decided to verbalize the obvious; just in case this guy just happened to be really good at cosplay. "Loki, right?" Max crossed her arms. "I'm bad with names, especially ridiculous ones."

"Don't pretend I'm that forgettable."

She took a step back with a small laugh. "Excuse me while I brace myself. The smug factor just increased to deadly levels."

"Every human on this planet has my name permanently etched into their mind." His perfectly white teeth gleamed in his grin.

"Anyone ever tell you that your smile could scare small children?" Loki almost sputtered. Even though he held back his natural reaction, Max caught his slip up and smirked. "I have to say, your attempt to proposition me is unlike any other."

"I would presume so."

"I don't know which gas station bathroom wall you got my info from, but once again I'm not a hooker. They're way classier than I am."

"And must I reiterate that I'm not paying you? Although, you could make a favorable living from it where I come from."

She threw up her hands. "Why didn't you say that sooner, do you have any idea how behind I am on the rent?" The constant little smirk did wonders and, always threw people off...until this guy. Max forced herself to get serious. "Do you actually think I'd sleep with a guy who killed people and destroyed half this city…for free?"

"Approximately two-thirds of the city." Loki corrected as he thought aloud. "And yes, you undoubtedly would."

"Hey! As inconceivable as it sounds, even I have…" Max trailed off, unable to think of the word. "Shit. What are they called?" She snapped her fingers, looking to him for help.

Loki smiled. "Standards?"

She clapped her hands together. "Yes! Thank you, _standards_." The matter of fact way he spoke sent an enjoyable wave through her body. He studied her silently with a raised brow. Max stared back for a few seconds longer before finally shrugging her shoulders. "Okay, you're probably right, BUT-"

Loki cut her off. "I don't call for nor want to hear your excuses. It matters not to me."

"'Nor' and 'matters not'?" She laughed. "Fuck, I'm going to need to pace myself here." Max fanned her face with her hand, trying to keep it together, or she was going to be overwhelmed. "Let's cut to the chase, are you going to kill me?" The answer dictated how the rest of her evening was going to go.

Loki shrugged his broad shoulders with a small smile. "That's still to be determined."

Max rolled her eyes; not pleased. "You're not even going to offer me the deal that you won't kill me if I have sex with you?"

He chuckled as if she was an idiot. "Why would I promise such a thing?"

"If you're not buying cupcakes or sex, _and _my life is still in limbo, I'm going to call it a night." She stepped back. "I have an empty apartment with a box of wine and hopefully a lot of weed to return to. I'd invite you, since this 'will-he-or-won't-he' kill me question is so intriguing, but you know…" Max grabbed the window and slammed it shut.

_Holy shit._ Reality hit and Max forced her legs to move, nearly forgetting her keys. She ran all the way back home, hurdling over homeless guys sleeping on the sidewalk in knee high boots.

She made it back to her apartment alive. Now it was just a matter or staying that way.

* * *

Loki didn't plan on simply observing the woman for long, but when she returned home and began to shove her furniture across the room, grunting and cursing, he decided to let it simmer a bit longer.

"Ugh, why can't I get mugged at knifepoint like a normal person?!" She stopped to catch her breath, halfway to the door. "What the hell am I doing?" Loki assumed reason finally caught up with her. "I need drinks, not barricades."

_Wrong._

She staggered to the kitchen, her chest still heaving comically. "Come on! I'm not that out of shape." Max opened the fridge and set the box of wine on the table they turned into a makeshift kitchen island. He was surprised she chose a glass over letting the spigot pour directly into her mouth.

"I need to quit smoking Earl's weed…or maybe that's _exactly_ what I need right now. Cheap wine isn't going to cut it." She gulped down the liquid without it even hitting her tongue. "Maybe I'm going crazy. Fucking hell, I bet it's genetic. Thanks for screwing me over even now, mom."

She paced her living room drinking and muttering aloud. "Do the Avengers have a hotline?" She fumbled with her phone. "I'd even take bow and arrow guy." Her breathing slowly calmed. "If you were real you'd already be here."

Loki smiled; that was unanticipated, but this made it so much more interesting. Max folded her body over the back of the couch with a sigh.

"Fuck." Max groaned. "You_ are_ here aren't you?" He didn't answer. Loki wouldn't give it to her that easily.

She made her way back to the box of wine and took a seat on the table beside it. She crossed her legs and began to read aloud from whatever was displayed on her phone.

Max cleared her throat. "Let's see what Wikipedia has to say about the…" she snorted with laughter, "God of Mischief? That title is somewhat misleading. Was ripping an eyeball out of a guy's skull considered mischief?" She asked aloud, then frowned still sitting in silence. He sensed her disappointment at the possibility that he actually wasn't there.

She picked up the empty cupcake tray on the other side her with misbehavior in her eyes and smile. "I have a weapon."

"Consider me threatened." His voice echoed close to her ear and Max quickly hopped off the table, spun around, and shook off the chill on the back of her neck.

She held up her cupcake tray like a bat and glared at him. "Breaking and entering is a bludgeoning offense."

Loki eyed her with mirth. "So should be your attempt of intimidation."

Max set her jaw and nearly swung at him; he stepped closer. She leaned back as if touching him could cause immediate death. Her eyes lingered on his face; as if she visualized the many ways he was going to kill her. And here he thought he was being cordial.

After a few seconds of staring, her shoulders slowly lowered. "I wasn't expecting you to be this chill. Are you on Valium, and if so, can I get some?" Her suspiciousness focused on his demeanor instead of his intentions.

"I know it may be a challenge, but I prefer you semi-lucid." The key word there was 'semi'.

"You break into my apartment and insult me?" She smirked. "You might just get laid if you keep that up." She looked down at her tray contemplating her options.

"I had no plan of stopping," Loki idly wondered how long that would take.

"Does that mean you won't rape me?" The woman was nice and to the point, but it takes the fun out it.

He glanced around the room. "From what I've found in this abhorrent excuse of a home, **I **should be inquiring that." Loki's fake unease, made her smile.

"Very disarming, Loki. I'm impressed." Some real admiration for once.

He smirked, slightly leaning down, using a seductive charm that she wasn't accustomed to deflecting. "I know."

And just like that he won her over. Threat level back to zero. Max lowered the tray, which currently served as a shield Captain America-style and threw it on the counter with a loud clang.

"Well, I was impressed by a burrito yesterday, so don't flatter yourself." She refused to enable him, even if her body reacted a little bit to this asshole's little shtick.

"Did you get some stalking suggestions from my ex-boyfriend?" She crossed her arms. "I assume you crept through Caroline's room. Did you find her vibrator; she hides it in the top drawer."

Loki's eyes wandered down to her ample cleavage in her tight waitress uniform. "It's not half as interesting as what you have laying around." His blue-green eyes moved back up to hers.

Max didn't mind getting leered at, but Loki's gaze hinted at more than that. If she had a soul she'd think he was trying to pierce it or absorb it like a vampire. "You're eying me like I'm a dog up for Best in Show."

"Is that too flattering?" Even though Loki had no idea what she was talking about, he zeroed in the on the context like a fucking hawk. Loki knew he hit his mark when her red lips parted in surprise.

Now that she didn't consider him a threat, no more holding back. "Mmm, patronizing too," she gave him a sultry looking over. The tangible sarcasm she exuded clearly didn't bother Loki. "If I had a dad I can imagine he'd be just as condescending as you are."

The comment meant to shock him, which it mildly did for only a moment. Loki gave her the small victory. Her eyes narrowed as he tugged the collar of her uniform, clearly doing it to throw her off. "Is that what entices you?"

Max shrugged her shoulders, mostly to get his hands off her clothes. "Nothing _entices_ me, Shakespeare." She walked back to her box of wine and took another large drink. "Please tell me you were rejected by every woman on earth and I'm the last one on the list."

Loki smiled, "It's somewhat charming how my attraction puts you off. Does it put you at ease that I came into this already acknowledging there were no redeeming qualities about you?"

Max jutted out her chest with a grin. "I'd like to think I have two redeeming qualities, but otherwise, I strive hard for that designation. It's nice to know my efforts paid off." She leaned back and lifted her drink in cheers. "I guess I just have an appeal to the very scum of the earth...or in your case outer space." She insulted him right to his face with a smile.

She casually pushed her long hair back behind her shoulder. Her eyes swept over the outfit, and how he just took up so much space in her small apartment. "The medieval fetish look isn't usually my thing…but you do pull it off," she scowled at her own admittance and blamed the wine.

"And where are the horns?" Max pointed to her own head. "That was the best part of the whole getup. I bet that gets some kinky usage." Max slid her eyes lower to his lean, muscular legs. "Looks tight." Her lips quirked up as usual and her eyes shot back up to his. "Doesn't leave much to the imagination, can't say I'm enthused with what's on display."

"You have quite the mouth." Loki's teeth showed in his smile.

"Are we stating the obvious now?" Max asked with eager anticipation. "Cause I can go all night here. And you haven't seen anything yet regarding my mouth."

"I wager that it's unsatisfying." His voice rasped and hit a spot in Max's stomach.

Max loved a good insult. "Damn straight." She stepped towards him for no reason but her own curiosity, and then stopped as if she talked herself out from under a spell.

"I'm shocked I haven't the desire to kill you yet." Loki said with surprising sincerity that Max rarely felt from anyone.

"My urge to kill is also strangely suppressed." She tilted her head, sizing him up again, still drinking her wine.

"That's comforting to hear." Loki regarded her carefully. His playfulness always worked to his benefit, and in this case, so did his inherent superiority.

"You're not as simple as you pretend to be." Loki observed Max with interest.

"Who me?" Max asked smiling.

He stalked towards her. "I've been with more women than you can imagine."

_Too easy._ "So have I," Max replied with a smile.

Loki let the laugh escape his throat, but continued. "A woman as idiotic as you claim to be wouldn't capture my attention for this long."

Max ran her tongue unconsciously over her full lips, contemplating whether or not she should go there. She cupped her hand to the side of her face as if telling him a secret and responded with a loud whisper. "Maybe you're not as smart as you think you are."

Max thought that might be the kicker to actually piss him off. Instead, his eyes glanced away as he decided something as well. When the sharp eyes returned to her face, she didn't like what was in them. A darkness that she normally loved appeared, but all she felt was trepidation and Max trusted her spot on instincts.

Loki hated that he had to hide one of his greatest accomplishments. He wanted to gloat, to see awe, and hear the gasp that would escape any normal person's mouth. "Well I did manage to convince everyone I perished, seized Odin's throne, and am currently reigning Asgard as king with none the wiser." Loki knew telling the woman any of this would be returned with some stupid remark. She surprisingly disappointed him.

"Oh." Max's wide eyes revealed her shock.

"That's it?" He prompted her. Loki expected _something_.

She snapped back to life, as if cold water splashed over her. "What the hell do you want me to say!? Want my congratulations and a pat on the back?" She was still shaken by being divulged the information. "Does this make me an accessory to space mutiny now?!" Max let loose. "I didn't ask you anything about that for a reason! I didn't want to know." Max exhaled after her rant and reigned in the sudden burst of emotion. "So let me get this straight," she still gestured wildly with her hands as she spoke. "You came here because you're bored and can't get good pussy anymore?"

His brows furrowed. "You make it sound so trivial."

"More rich people problems," she shook her head with disgust. "You and Caroline might just hit it off then. You can reminisce on the good times when she had five closets dedicated to shoes, and you had more gold plated gimp suits."

Loki looked at her with honest confusion and not the usual sarcasm. "You really have no self-preservation."

Max smirked. "I also have no self-esteem or dignity." Her eyes unabashedly raked over his body and scrutinized him openly. "I assume that's you picked little ol' me."

Loki almost stepped back when she walked up to him. Even in heeled boots her neck was forced to look up to see his face. She could see the stitching on the leather, and yes, it was tight. So perfectly fit to his body that she couldn't believe it was actual leather, because the tactility of the material made no sense.

"This better be good. That means I better come at LEAST twice." She poked his hard abdomen, the only thing at her hand's height, and didn't take her blue eyes off of his.

"That's all?" Loki's genuine surprise amused her. "Did you not say 'good'?"

"You cocky bastard. Just for that I'm going to purposely NOT enjoy this." She hissed looking up at him.

"So, this will be customary for you?" His sarcasm got Max reluctantly hot.

"Oh hell, you're really growing on me." She narrowed her eyes in thought. "I think it's the sociopathic charm."

"As lovely as all this chatting has been," Loki exhaled with some impatience. "If I wanted to converse-"

Max swiped her hand in front of Loki as she cut him off. "Hey, I was ready to go an hour ago. I was waiting for you to stop talking, but you obviously love the sound of your own voice."

His lips curled up into more of a sneer, obviously impatient, and no longer in the mood to trade insults.

"Do you look as good out of that thing as you do in it? No tentacles or anything freaky right?" Max walked to the wall and unzipping her uniform as went. "I'm keeping the lights off, so it doesn't really matter. Just make it quick." She flicked the switch and sucked in a breath. What the hell was she in for?

"Quick or good? Make up your mind," his voice deepened and dripped with aggression.

Max let her grease-smelling dress fall to the ground. She unclasped her bra and propped up her leg on the coffee table to unzip her boot. "I don't know what the hell hit you in the head to think I was the chick you wanted to fuck."

Loki's arm looped around her waist and pulled her back to his chest. "Leave them on." He roughly raked her hair aside and kissed her neck. It caught her by surprise, but she wasn't going to let him have that.

"So you have a kink for sweaty, gross girls in boots. That's a bit…" She breathily exhaled at his mouth at the junction of her shoulder and neck; his hand full of her hair kept her open to him. She forgot what she was even saying.

"It's quite niche." Loki answered; his breath tickled her ear and she fought the girlish shudder then a soft moan as Loki cupped a full breast in his hand, twisting her nipple with his fingers. _Fucker._

She grimaced as the cold metal of his clothing touched her bare skin of her back. "If we were doing clothes on I never would have left the shop." She shrugged herself out of his hold. "You're not going to wear that the entire time." Max sniped. He growled or grunted some noise of disapproval and his hands left her to start to remove his clothes. "I'm waiting for you to tell me to shut up." Max used the second his hands left her to finish her drink, because her mouth was parched. As much as she prided herself of being a cold, unfeeling bitch, she was human and annoyingly nervous.

"Why would I want that?" Loki asked. "That's why I'm here." Max didn't expect that answer or how quickly his hands were back around her waist. She resisted, pulling on them. "Hold up a second."

Much to Max's displeasure Loki spun her around to face him with a heavy exhale of irritation. "What now?"

"Ignoring everything else, wow, you sure aren't concerned about knocking me up. How many kids do you even have? Like five?" She pushed herself back to squint a better look at him in the dark. "You didn't get a woman pregnant 27 years ago did you?" Max paused, "Because this may get weird."

Loki's teeth grinding was audible. "I assumed you had it under control."

Max glared at him. "Nice to know even men from space are assholes."

"Anything else you'd like to complain about?" He growled.

Max's laugh burst out. "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that, for your sake."

Her little smile was wiped from her face when Loki's hand slid around the back of her neck and forced her head upward to his lips. The languidness of his kiss startled her; she fought the noise that threatened to escape her throat. His tongue set and kept the slow, erotic pace she didn't expect or normally want. When he pulled back, Max already had a comment prepped, but the look on his face made her pause.

"What is that?" Loki asked and licked his lips, confused by the flavor in his mouth.

She caught her breath. "Matte lipstick, cheap wine, a little desperation, and a lot of self-loathing."

He grimaced. "It's disgusting." Max bit back a laugh as Loki ran a thumb over his lips and caught some of her supposed 24hr hour makeup smeared on his face. "And there's no need for it."

She reacted as if he slapped her across the face, and not the hot sexy way.

He exhaled forcefully. "Another woman who can't accept a compliment."

"That's right." Max sneered at his comment, daring him to continue.

"Would you rather I be repulsed by you?" Loki asked curiously.

"Yes!" Max exclaimed. "At least that's familiar territory." Loki pulled her body up against his, now without layers of leather.

"Fine. You're a sickening whore. Is that more desirable?" The moonlight illuminated the room a lot more than she anticipated, which granted a spectacular view to his body. And it was ridiculous; hard as rock, lean muscle but his skin soft to her touch.

"Yes, thank you. Oh, and I don't cuddle." Max warned, but was interrupted by being grabbed by the waist.

"I'll try to quell my disappointment." The mockery physically made her wet. Max smiled to herself. She wanted him. _Now._ Loki lifted her like she weighed nothing, and seated her on the high kitchen island table.

"Not bad. Maybe I won't lose those five pounds." While Max marveled at what she determined was physically impossible, Loki's hips spread her thighs apart. It surprised her how not scrawny he was, she expected the lithe type, but the guy was…substantial. He used the height difference to his advantage and almost painfully squeezed a breast in his hand while she felt his mouth on the other. Max's chest received the majority of attention in most scenarios, and usually guys didn't give her the firm treatment he gave her. Her thighs squeezed against his sides. For once, she didn't have to do it herself. His teeth scrapped her nipple and she arched her back. Max forced her eyes to close, to try and enjoy what was going on instead of being on guard. Her zen-like focus shattered when Loki tugged down her underwear, and with one hand pushed on the center of her chest to lean her back. "Jesus, you go down too?" Max arched a brow. "Maybe you're not that bad after all."

"Your criterion for determining morality is quite astonishing."

"What's morality?" She asked with a smile, her breath hitched as his mouth descended on her pussy. It was nice of him to even do, and it would take maybe ten seconds worth of effort before she could fuck. That wasn't what she got. She bit her lip, not about to mewl like a bitch in heat in front of him. He didn't need to continue, but he did. Her brow furrowed as she fought the vocalization of pleasure even as his tongue expertly slid between her folds. Max grasped the edge of the table to avoid touching him.

She maneuvered her hips so when she felt close to coming, she moved just enough to stay on the edge and not spill over. Max wasn't going to give it to him that easily. Except Loki knew exactly what she was doing, and placed his hand on her thigh to keep her in one place. _Fuck._ "Okay, I'm good," she yelped and smacked his hand.

Max tried to sit back up, but her head dropped back with a small gasp as his tongue slid deep inside her again. Her heavy, dark hair spilled down her back and she unconsciously spread her legs wider with him in-between.

"What was that?" He asked licking again over her clit, feeling her body tense with each tease of his tongue.

"Fuck, stop, please, damn it!" Random words spewed from her mouth until he relented. She was so on edge she was trembling. It didn't help that she was dripping; literally, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Denying yourself," he looked her over. "So the slut has control, does she?"

She had no problem with the words, but the intensity on his face and the hungry tone of his voice bothered her. Max mistakenly voiced her discomfort.

"I thought this was going to be more of a hate-fuck. Or you'd bend me over a table to save ourselves the awkwardness."

His exasperation with her showed. "Yes, _that_ would make a difference in the awkwardness."

"You don't need to show off by banging me on the table I make cupcakes."

Max could practically hear his eyes rolling and then his aggravated breath. He pulled her down off the table to her feet, spun her, and then shoved her body over it. "Is this what you were expecting?" He took a fistful of her dark hair and pulled.

"Pretty much," she said with a hint of a growl. It didn't feel as good as it usually did, but it was better than having to deal with looking at him anymore. The intimacy bothered her.

"Unfortunately, I'm not in the mood for it," his cock pressed against her from behind.

Max unknowingly smiled back with a look over her shoulder, his hand let go of her hair and she gave it a toss. "You're _not_ fucking my ass. That's the second date, buddy. What kind of slut do you take me for?" She would have done whatever he wanted at that point, the way she pushed her ass back against him in challenge made it obvious that he knew it too.

"The best kind." Loki hissed and pulled her back up straight. He took hold of Max's arm and threw her back towards the couch. The casual overuse of his strength should have worried her, but it was tempered by his strange compliments...or insults she took as compliments.

"Can I keep you?"

He chuckled. "You would regret that rather quickly." Loki kissed her again, the same one that took her breath away. His hand ran up her back again to the base of her neck and fingers dug into her scalp.

She broke away again, trying to get away from the dizzy feeling his lips gave her. "But I have so many heavy things I could have you move." Max's eyes darted around the room as he pulled her straddling his lap and she finally fell down at his erect cock. She tensed and finally let her eyes take it in, startled at the length and size. "Where do you hide this in those ridiculous tight pants?" She asked. "What is that, like 9?"

"What?" Loki's completely confused face was something she wanted to take a picture of...well not just his face.

"Inches. Never-fucking-mind." Max was done with tossing lines around. She needed to fuck him.

"Finally," Loki barely managed the word before she kissed him. She usually didn't initiate kissing, but if it would shut him up she could manage. Her hand grasped his thick cock and she lowered herself upon it, more slowly than he preferred. Her face flushed and she begrudgingly let the gasps escape her mouth, sinking herself fully onto him. His cock thrust into her with force she never experienced before. Max would never admit riding his dense body might actually feel like she was fucking a god. She moaned and Loki laughed softly; his mouth opened to speak, but Max roughly shoved her hand over his lips.

"If you say one fucking word I will slap you in the face." She threatened him; and he gripped her hips harder. His eyes narrowed, but Max ignored it and let her fingers slid down to his shoulder and closed her eyes to avoid the look he gave her.

Loki found it incredible her attention wasn't directed on him. He didn't get it, but he enjoyed her vulnerability, watching her chase the climax that she worked hard for in deep focus. His hands on her hips limited her movement to what he decided.

She stilled for a second as the first inkling of her approaching orgasm surprised her. Her hands tightened on the fabric of the couch behind him, not going to grasp onto him. She bucked up as it ran down her spine, Max slid up and down on his cock at her own pace until her breath caught in her throat.

"You should have come earlier. Now you're just going to embarrass yourself with the screaming you're going to make." Loki chided.

"Shhh...ut up," she gasped out.

He pulled her hips down to him hard as she came, clenching all of his cock inside her. Her cry was reluctantly wrenched from her, not wanting to give him any sense of satisfaction.

"Thought you were going to smack me?" The edge in Loki's voice was new to Max's ears. She still rode out her climax, not thinking straight, but obeyed and struck him across the face. When his hand shot out to grasp her neck, she expected him to break it. He almost did, jerking her close. His ragged, deep breathing sent flutters down to her stomach. "You'll have to do better than that." He snarled.

The venomousness came out of nowhere. She tried to retort, but her throat was being squeezed so it came out slightly choked. "Loki." He groaned at the sound of his name, tightened a little more, and thrust upward. Her skin had goose bumps and the high on endorphins only made it more intense.

"Fuck me, you whore." Loki hissed; his eyes flashed dangerously. "What did you expect?" She dug her nails into his wrist. "If you read past the first line…"

"Loki, God of Lies, yeah I saw that part." She choked out; Loki exhaled, pulling her down again deep onto his cock. Max finally focused her eyes right onto his. "If you want me to hit you again, I'd be glad to."

Loki's resonated down her spine. He released her neck, but grasped her hair to keep her in place. "I knew you were the right choice."

"And I thought my daddy issues were kinky," she mocked leaning back towards him. Her breasts pressed against his chest as she set the pace slightly slower. He let her, even when the fingers of his other hand dug into her ass enough to leave bruises with his displeasure.

She licked her lips and kissed him. He obviously didn't want to, almost growling with annoyance and moved to break it. As soon as he pulled back Max smacked him full force across his left cheek.

His glare and sharp inhale made her heart skip a beat. It looked lethal. She definitely felt some strands of hair get pulled from her scalp with his hand twisting in her dark locks. He pulled her down deep onto his cock with a groan; her face was thrown into his shoulder. "Loki," she hissed his name followed by a string of pained curses, and he finally came. His quick, sharp breaths and throaty moan followed by his hot come felt deliciously good inside of her. "Fuck," she cursed again against his neck.

Max was stuck in place, until his hand loosened in her hair. She wiped her own sweat off her brow, and pressed her hands against his chest until she had the ability to push herself away.

Loki grabbed her arm before she could fully lift herself off of him. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I need to smoke," Max said. He surprisingly let her go, and she stumbled to the drawer in the kitchen. She grabbed the lighter and joint, not even pausing to get dressed and took a few deep inhales. Her shoulders slowly lowered and relaxed; she didn't realize how tense her entire body still was. "You know you're fucking crazy right?"

"Are you finished yet?"

Loki hadn't moved, still naked on her couch. Max walked back over to him; his eyes raked her body. Still naked except for the knee high boots, she grimaced feeling her thighs wet from sex, but his heated eyes demanded more. "You can't seriously want to go again do you?" Her eyes lowered down to his thickening cock and she shook her head.

The deadlier looking expression on Loki's face remained. "You said 'at least' twice."

"That was a joke. I can't remember the last time I got fucked that hard. It's going to take me a day to get over this."

The disappointment on his face was palpable. Max laughed; she could barely comprehend what happened and inhaled another cloud of smoke, followed immediately by cheap wine.

She placed her lighter down and breathed contentedly. "You can owe me an orgasm. I know it'll mean putting off my death to a later date, but I had no warning. I need preparation for a sex marathon…with a psychopath."

"If I knew it was going to be this short I would have killed you an hour ago," he said plainly.

Max waved off the threat, "You knew exactly what you were getting into." She dropped her pipe on the coffee table.

"So did you." He smirked from her couch, far too laidback for her liking. She's prefer it if he stuck with one type of personality.

Max stood in front of him, feeling like dealing out a bit of her own type of torture. "I didn't know you could even feel pain." She kicked his ankle, spreading his legs as he glared at her. "Shut up," she snapped, kneeling between his legs. He looked on in curious amusement.

Max grasped his semi-hard cock, slowly running her tongue over the head and ridge before taking him fully into her mouth. His thighs tensed beneath her, and god the tight muscle felt good under her skin. Now fully erect, she couldn't take all of him down her throat. His gasp was audible and as well as the damning buck of his hips. She could taste both herself and him coating his cock. Loki's hand slide up the back of her neck and he fought his moan.

"Maybe we should just owe each other." Max lifted her head with a smirk. He looked hungry, starved, and wanting to fuck her any which way he could.

"Whore," he growled with lust.

"Gonna have to do better than that. That's pretty much my middle name. I have to say though…" She pushed herself up and took a seat on the couch beside him, putting herself in the weirdest scenario she could imagine with him. "That was actually good. I don't normally compliment guys, but then again, they're not normally around. Someone is always unconscious…usually me."

"Are you suggesting that I should be honored for the accolades?" Loki asked. His intense eye contact still never wavered the entire time, turning his head to keep her in sight.

"Yes. Yes, I am," Max smiled a real, sincere smile to the psychotic man who murdered hundreds of people. After a second, she got up and gathered her clothes, and tugged on some underwear to stop from getting the couch soaked. "So what the fuck was that earlier?"

"You'll have to be more specific," his voice was more relaxed or tired.

"You just went off the wall there for a second. I thought you were going to kill me."

Loki smirked. "I thought you'd be partial to it, and judging by your reaction, I was correct."

Max watched him finally move and begin to dress. "I did enjoy being told to smack you in the face." Max reminisced fondly. "Now that's something I can get behind."

"Is it?" He asked with a glint in his eyes.

"Are you kidding? If that's the kind of thing you're into I can follow directions." She vividly remembered the sound he made and the stinging of her own hand when she struck him.

Loki looked at her, dead in the eye. "You are a pitiful liar."

"Alright you came, in both senses of the word, and conquered." Max glanced over her shoulder at the clock. "It's late. I'm going to go to bed. I assume you can creep your way out the same way you came in?" She looked down at her half naked body; his scent still clung to her skin. "Damn, you smell good."

"Unlike this hovel."

"We did just have sex on a couch I scavenged from a dumpster."

Loki's defeated sigh was music to her ears. "Absolutely revolting."

Max grinned, poking him in the side. "It's good to be king, right?"


End file.
